Thursday, August 9, 2007

Old and tired - or only bored?

There are days in my life when I am ready to do nothing of my usual stuff. And Than I am thinking about my life. Today is another such day. I got another two entries in official COBISS bibliography, and I am asking what for? Is it worthy. I am still deeply in translating my PhD into more understandable language. And I have only waisted time and expenses - is it worthy. I am thinking also about four other similar projects and again money is not main reason. And even in cases where money can be one of motivators some dude fucks everything up with some smart ideas. Won't tell who and why but I swear that I have enough information that I can make a lot of noise because of improper use of financial resources.
Yesterday evening I was driving to capital and I saw young girl galloping with her horse over the grass and I wanted to get beck 10 years, when my only occupation was helping to taking care for about 40 horses and riding around. Now I have everything, or mostly everything, but I miss what I had before when I had nothing except freedom. Now I am "responsible" person (despite sometimes I had much more responsibilities when I was working with horses), have my duties and daily routines. Today I never have time for almost nothing, but I spend lot of time sitting by my computer and doing nothing. Years back, I was hard working in horse club but I always had time for anything what was crazy enough. OK,OK now I'll go and pretend that I am working, despite I will only sit in my chair rediscovering that I am lazy.

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